Strict Training; it's a process.

By the grace of God I'm not who I was.

By the grace of God I am who I am.

By the grace of God I'm not who I am going to be.

For a couple of months I have been in a season of refinement. Though, up until today I wouldn't have called it that. 

You know those moments of desperation in your soul where you absolutely need to see God change you and touch you? Often times we leave it at that; simply acknowledging you have a spiritual need. Then there are those times where you actually pray for change. You stop and ask God to search your heart and know you. You ask God to bring out of you the things that don't look like His Son. You plead with God and ask Him to remove the dirt, clear the clutter and show you where you're weak. 

Isn't that such a freeing release? To know that something is wrong and to be able to surrender control to the Lord and ask for a heart change? 

That's just the beginning. 

How quickly we forget what we've asked for. 

This time, I went into that prayer knowing that the pruning would be painful. I knew that there was a lot of things in my heart that I had let run rampant over the years. I knew it was killing me and I was desperate. I still am. I begged God to remind me in my moments of suffering what I have asked for. In my trials over the past two months (since I have begun praying for change) I have not had peace about my circumstances until God has revealed to me that He was doing what I asked for.

My pride hates it.

My flesh hates it. 

My spirit, however, has experienced so much joy.

I also believe that in these moments of refinement that God will use the things and/or people that will most challenge us. The enemy knows it too. The enemy would love nothing more than to see me stay where I am. 

I'm having a moment, where I have so much to say and my bitterness wants to get the best of me. I knew that the Lord was asking me not to speak, but to stay silent and surrender my right to be heard and surrender my right to see justice. I waited. This morning, I sought the Lord for answers and he brought me to 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into a strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

God, ever-so gently, brought me into His presence and spoke this to me. "Run to get the prize. Don't run for anyone's approval. Don't run to be like other people. Don't run to be heard or justified. There is only one prize. Jesus. Run for him, run to him. I am doing this, so you may have what you asked for: Jesus."

Praise God for seasons of strict training. 

S

South Bound Yankees

Here's my "1 for every 3 months" blog update.

I think I'm finding that 3 months need to go by for me that have enough information worth leading unto the world.

The latest word: We are moving to Florida! It took us almost 4 months to be so sure about it that we felt okay talking about it without a foot-in-mouth experience. I've had to eat my words before; I don't like it.

Here is a list of the most FAQ's we've received (they pretty much go down in this order too). I hope you find it informative.
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When are you leaving?
Josh is flying down on August 10th. I plan to leave August 28th.

Why the gap?
My good friends Emilie and Adam are getting married on the 27th, I wouldn't dare miss it. I would regret it immensely. 

 Will I make it that long without him?
Probably not. However, we spent months going back and forth over the best options and this is what he came up with. Plus, it gives Josh 2 weeks to go nuts in Fort Myers without me chasing after him yelling "remember... we don't have health insurance!"


How am I getting there?
I will be road trippin' it up! 

Not alone, I hope?
No, no, no... My gal pal Kate is going to be my driving buddy. Watch out world! 2 blondes at the wheel!

What car?
Betsy.


What's Betsy?
My car. It's a 1998 Chevy Lumina... maroon inside and out. Holla!

You sure it'll make it?
Of course not. That's what makes it a hill billy road trip! I'm joking. Sort of. I'm sure it will make it down... back up? We'll give the magic 8 ball a good shake for that one. 


How long of a drive is it?
About 1,650 miles.... 27ish hours. 


Where exactly are you going?
Fort Myers. Living in housing provided by the church (First Assembly Ministry)

Why are you going?
We have decided to answer God's call to reach the next generation of leaders currently on college campus's. Making us campus missionaries working with an organization called Chi Alpha; an international campus ministry. 


Will you be working for the church?
Yes, in a sense. Though formally, it's an internship.


An internship? 
Yep! As in, unpaid... =]

Will you be able to work part time, on the side?
I'm sure we could, but we are choosing to consider the internship as our full time job and we feel that any work on the side may interfere with our ability to give 100% to Chi Alpha. We're electing to not work part-time.

What will you do for money?
We will be raising support through partnering with people like you! Stay tuned...

You said something about housing provided by the church?
Yep! FAM is allowing us to live rent free and semi-furnished for the duration of the internship. Pretty neat, huh?

That's nice, but what about all your stuff?
Remember Adam and Emilie? We're donating the bulk of our things to them to get them started on their apartment. We won't need our furniture and we don't want to pay to store it, so we decided to put it to good use and give it to someone who will use it and love it. Yay free stuff!

How long will you be gone?
Depends on how you look at it.
9 months up front.
We could be there longer. Too early to tell.

Are you coming back?
I'm sure. In what capacity is unclear. It would be awesome to come back next summer and work at Foss again. Again, too early to tell. We're preparing our selves for anything.

What about Albert?!
I know, right?! Most important question right here. We can't have him at the apartment in Fort Myers, but I'm working on an alternative so that I don't have to give him up. He's like my child! Would you give away your child because he/she may rip up your furniture and pee on the walls? I don't think so. I'll let you know when I know... that way we can all calm down.


What's Albert?
Only the coolest cat, ever.

Will you be able to continue your education?
That's the plan! Josh will be taking steps toward completing his B.A. Probably one class at a time, depending on what we can budget in.


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That's about all I got.... feel free to ask us anything!


If you know you would like to be a part of our monthly news letters, please send an e-mail to 
team.schultz2012@gmail.com


If you would like to receive more information about Campus Missions and how to partner with us. Send an e-mail to the above address and I'll give you the hook up.


We also have a group on FaceBook called "Team Schultz 2012" Look it up and join in to get all kinds of updates!


Please pray for us. We have a lot of work to get done before we leave.


Pray for provision for moving expenses.
Pray for Betsy; that she'll make it down.
Pray for the Lord to guide our hearts as we prepare spiritually and emotionally.
Pray for Josh and I; to continue to communicate and keep our heads together as the ball picks up speed. 
Really, just pray. However you feel led.




We love you to pieces.


=] S


p.s You should probably listen to this song. 

Good or Great?

I recently wrote an e-mail to a friend of mine, updating her on my life and the happenings there in. I felt really good after writing it, and I don't think I could put it any better than this. Copy & Paste...

So, I scratched everything I started writing, and decided to start over based on how I feel today. 

Today, I feel torn. Which, is almost everyday right now. 

In February, when I went to Florida with my mom I got all inspired to have an adventure. It didn't just start there, though, it started shortly before I felt- around the time that Josh and I were finalizing our mortgage documents and starting our real search for a home. We had our down payment, the area we wanted to look in, stability at work... it all seemed like it was falling together. It ended up scaring me, or maybe putting it into a permanent perspective, made me question if this was the right time. 

Josh had been talking about wanting to go on an "adventure" more than a vacation.  While I was in Florida, I asked him how he felt about coming to Florida for our adventure. It wasn't the first time I had mentioned this idea to him. I've known about the internships held with First Assembly Ministry for several years. Just before our 1 year anniversary, when we were moving out of St. Paul to live with my dad, I brought it up and at that time, he didn't seem too open about taking an internship. He wanted to finish school and apply at local churches. I left it alone. Until, almost exactly a year later, we were in the same predicament. He hadn't gone back to school, or applied at local churches and he still really wanted to pursue ministry whole-heartedly. So, I brought it up again and this time he got really excited.

That same day, I e-mailed the Pastor I had a connection to and asked if the internship program still existed. He replied fairly quickly and told me that it did, and he was wondering if that meant I was interested in coming down and doing an internship, if so, he would be happy to have me back. 

We began the application process, interview process and were accepted almost immediately. At this point, we still haven't signed an official letter of intent, but I assume it will come by the end of the month. Everything seemed so awesome and exciting and right. 

2 weeks after pursuing Florida and feeling extremely convinced that this was God's next step for us, Foss offered Josh a promotion to be the salaried S.C of Woodbury. Before February, this was exactly what Josh had wanted and had started feeling discouraged that it would actually happen. Then, just that like, it did. He really wanted to take it. We felt strongly that we needed to be honest with Foss about the internship we had applied for, and pending our acceptance, we might not be here past summer. After knowing that information, they could then decide if they still wanted Josh for the job. They did.  I can still see Foss as my career, just maybe not right now. 

We are out of debt, we have money saved up, we have a nice apartment, really good jobs, making really good money, we are comfortable and stable for the first time in our life together, and even as individuals since leaving the "nest".  It feels really good.

Where I am right now, caters to my dreams of settling down, having a family and a home and a job and.... the list goes on. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I'm presented with a choice, and it's not a black and white easy decision. It's not even clear if one direction is right and one is wrong. Maybe one is good and the other is great. Going to Florida, will leave us without jobs, without our stuff, it will drain our savings and we'll lose all of our career momentum. It will be a very real sacrifice. 

I want to be better about seeking God's direction. I feel like there's something I am missing. I feel really confused, and I don't have a lot of peace about anything right now. I want a super clear answer, but I know that's not how these things work.  I know Josh and I are meant to work this out together, and honestly it is forcing a lot into the light on different things we want and see for our future. 

Right now, we are still preparing to go. In that case, Josh will drive down sometime in the first week of August. I will drive down August 28th. My last day at Foss being Saturday, August 25th.

Housing in Florida is free and semi furnished, so we don't have to worry about our stuff outside of clothing. Easy move. We're looking into storage units for our things. The internship is 9 months, unpaid. We get a monthly stipend of 200, to help with grocery and we're allowed to work part time on the side. 

Josh's role will be with college campus ministry, and mine will be more administrative working at the church with their colleged aged ministry called "The House" as a small group leader coordinator. Roles we would both love to have. 

Even writing all of this helps calm me down, maybe I just need to come to a place of acceptance and let go of the life/dreams I'm clearly holding so tightly to. It's all boiling down to what I'm settling for. Good, or great?

That's about all the details I have right now. 

Thank you for being interested in our life and being supportive. We could use your prayers on this one for sure. 

Labled: Time-Waster

It has been a long time since I have felt this way, and it not been a result of guilt or conviction. Well, I would be a liar if I said some conviction didn't surround these emotions.
I have been convicted of being a "Time-Waster", which in this world is one of the worse things I can imagine. Being a Time-Waster suggests a lot of other things; apathy, complacency, disobedience and cowardice. At least, that's what surrounds it for me. It has taken me a long time to admit such things about myself. If you follow my life via blog or in person, you will notice a common theme here.

Now, let me explain some of these, so you're not worried that I'm on some down-ward spiral of self-deprecation.

Apathy; I've been straight up lazy and careless with what God as called me to do. I've been making changes for about 4 months now, but it's not enough. I want more.

Complacency; The two really go hand in hand. But I'm colder than luke warm, and you know what God thinks about being luke warm. It breaks my heart to think about how much time I've wasted.

Disobedience; We're not called to a luke warm life, we're called to a life that glorifies the One worthy of our praise, hard to do that justice with a luke warm spirit. God has called me to specific things, some of them I've wanted to know more about, others I haven't because well.... read on..

Cowardice; I've been a coward. I have always struggled with living in freedom and walking in the light of Jesus' grace, love and redemption. I've been wasting such a precious gift. I've been afraid of it being hard and uncomfortable.

Here is my confession, before my friends, family and the throne of God.

I want to live a life that shows the light of Jesus. I've died to myself only once before. (Sure, maybe in small ways but not in way of a life-style change) I believe it's time for my life to be shattered, broken and completely re-made. I believe it's time for my marriage to carry the evidence of God's power and love. I believe it's time for me to be a wife who lets her husband lead her and who passionately supports the life of ministry he has been called to. 

I have made a lot of promises to people who have invested in me, promises that I haven't been fighting to keep. I need this to be more than a bunch of pretty words. Our life is going to change. We're praying through some really big decisions. With certainty that this is God's will for us, but not ready to share details. We're ready to give up everything to follow Christ. Our friends, our family, our life, our money, our time, our dreams (I sacrifice them one by one before you Jesus) our comfort, our home and our every possession.


Join me in prayer;

Father God,
Thank you for the Time you have given to me, and to Josh. Thank you for the opportunities you have placed in our daily lives. I come before you now asking for your guidance, your wisdom and your grace as Josh and I move forward with the call you have placed on our lives. We want, so desperately, to have a life that is YOUR life, through us. We pray your will be done. I give you my life. I give you my desires. My dreams of having a home, a baby (a family) and financial security. I will follow you, even if it means that I never have those things. I accept the challenge of a life called to obedience to you. Lord, give us patience. Give us wisdom. Make us love, and keep us humble. I pray that you will guide our steps and that you would soften our spirits to receiving your word. I pray for the support of our friends and family in the coming months. I pray for the ministry that will be receiving us (where ever that may be) place us on their hearts and give us favor in the community. Help ease us and give us peace when we feel discouraged. Help us remember, when things get hard, that this is what we prayed for. Refine us and qualify us. We love you, we need you, so much.

Seeking to serve and surrender,

Samantha